The One With the Bridesmaid Dress Debate

I’ve been a bridesmaid in the past and I will admit that I have, like many others before me, crossed my fingers and prayed to anyone listening that the bride would choose dresses that were not totally hideous and/or expensive.  We’ve all had those moments and sometimes you get the dress that’s great or “not so bad” and sometimes, well, you end up looking like this chick:

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“Dear god, what the hell is this??”

It has dawned on me recently that not only am I responsible for choosing my bridesmaids I’m also responsible for choosing their dresses.  And, while I want my wedding to have a certain look, I don’t want my bridesmaids to hate me for the choices I make.

I will say, I have learned a lot from reading other bloggers’ posts as well as the posts from my dear friends on the boards at weddingbee.  Based on their many varied experiences, I have come to this conclusion.  There are two ways to go about the process – either you choose the dresses your ladies will wear or you let them pick with or without guidelines (and relinquish all control in the process).  I would love to be able to say “okay ladies, go pick out a dress and show up” but unfortunately I’m a bit too much of a control freak for that.   So to avoid this mess entirely, I think I will make the decision.  I’m going to allow input from my girls but the decision will be mine.

Fortunately, I’ve been doing some research so I have plenty of ideas I just need to narrow down the field a bit.  There are also a few issues but I will get to that in a minute.

My favorite FAVORITE dress at the moment isn’t a bridesmaid dress at all.  It’s a cute little Calvin Klein number from Nordstroms and not only is it absolutely adorable but it comes in the color I want!

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It’s perfect!  And it’s within budget and definitely something the girls could wear again.  Confession – I’m actually buying one for myself to wear to an upcoming party, that’s how much I love this dress!!

Encounter problem one – it’s a Calvin Klein dress from Nordstroms.  That seems like it would make things easier but unfortunately CK dress sizes only go up to 14s and so I am concerned about the bigger girls needing a bigger size than is available.  I had high hopes as I went to the plus size site hoping to find a plus size version, however there was  no such thing.  I was angry because I don’t understand why plus size girls can’t have the same dress (but that’s a whole different thing so I’ll stop before I get on my soapbox)  So on that front we’re back to the drawing board… sorta.

The next dress mom actually found and it’s from the vineyard collection.  It isn’t purple but it is in another color I love, the steel grey/silver.

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This one would be more expensive than the CK dress but I’ve seen it in “real life” pictures on bridesmaids with a variety of body styles and it looks great on all of them.  Aside from being expensive, there are two other issues – the first is that the dress is long and I’m leaning towards a cocktail length dress because I don’t want the wedding to seem too formal.  Second, it’s taffeta.  Normally I don’t have anything against tafetta, however after looking at a million pictures of beach weddings I’ve come to realize that taffeta, while it looks gorgeous indoors, looks totally different (and often weird) outside.  Add that to the budget problems and I’m not a happy bride.

So the search continues… At this point the only other real contender is a dress from Jasmin but I’m trying to find some more info and pictures of it before I start getting too excited.  Here’s a pic for good measure:

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So the quest continues…  I am considering taking the picture of the CK dress to a seamstress to get an estimate of what it would cost to have them made.  That always makes me nervous because I’ve heard horror stories about dresses that were horribly made but at the same time, it may be the only way for me to get what I want!

Stay tuned – I’ll have more on this as we get further along.  Oh and if you’re searching for the post where I selected my bridesmaids, you won’t find it because I haven’t officially decided yet!  I have, however, narrowed it down to my top 4 girls and really all I’m waiting on is  my ring and to ask them to see if they will do it.  Exciting!  I’m also trying to come up with a cute way to ask them – we’ll see if I can manage to not just blurt it out of nowhere

See you soon – same bride time, same bride channel!